amosmiguel's Xanga

This is Why I love my City

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:35:49 GMT

Where else can you witness a dump truck plummeting out of the fourth floor of an abandoned building?

My buddy, Steve, was able to capture some of the action and passed the story on to the Wall Street Journal.

I live just around the corner from the Packard plant. Oh, Detroit. :)

Enjoy-

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125745924791631907.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_RIGHTTopCarousel

A Tribute to my Grandmother

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:07:34 GMT

It was strange. Death is so strange.

A few weeks ago, I was having Clam Chowder, watching a DVD about miracles, and hearing about how awesome Detroit was in the 50's.

This wasn't like my Grandma Brigidia, where I was able to say goodbye and process through her leaving. No. It was sudden. Almost like an Enoch-kind-of sudden.

Passion. I remember she had so much of it. I wonder what her life was like when she stole $5 and left Oklahoma as a young teenager. I never got to hear how the Lord took a hold of her heart, but I definitely got to see how He kept it. It was incredible to see a woman in her late 70s and early 80s going on mission trips, driving across a few states to attend conferences, and praying for how many hours in the early morning.

One of my favorite memories of Grandma Lois was seeing her pray with one of the youth at church. The service had long been over. It was just the two of them sitting in a chair about 10 rows from the front row. A few stragglers were left in the sanctuary, but it was mostly just light chatter. I had come back into the sanctuary to grab some things left behind.

There she was hands clasped with this young man, both of them just weeping. I could hear her saying lightly, "Jesus" or "Yes, Lord" or "Thank you, Lord" between sobs.

The next week, I stopped the young man and asked how that prayer time with Grandma Lois was. "It was just what I needed," he replied.

I can only try to fast forward my life 57 years, to when I'll be as old as Grandma Lois was when she passed. What would those years look like? I pray faith would mark them. I pray for a grateful endurance and a patient longing and hope.

"I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." 2 Timothy 1:5

My Neighborhood

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:46:27 GMT

It's strange. I turn onto Fischer from W Vernor and I feel like I've driven into a different city- a different culture.

This is my neighborhood. East Detroit.

It is where bicycles are ridden, not for recreation but because it's the only vehicle had.

It is where at 5p a gathering happens at the local liquor store. Soft drinks and chips for everyone.

It is a place where a car looks abandoned but then someone gets into it and drives off.

It is a place where a house looks abandoned but then someone hobbles out the front door to sit on the porch.

A place where during my afternoon jogs, I pass by drug houses, burned out houses, children with no father, and prostitutes.

It is a place where at night, the conversations with my roommates are interrupted by one of two things: the sound of loud music from cars passing by or the sound of gunshots in the distance.

It is a place where a red light means, "slow down, if clear then go" and any part of the street is a crosswalk.

While I've grown up on the Northwest side of the city. It is different here. I'm not really sure, yet why God has led me here. And, I don't really know, yet, what sharing my faith looks like here, but I know God is near, and He desires to move. Prayer.

Driving home, listening to UBC Canada:

a plea for humility

Tue, 26 May 2009 18:29:57 GMT

Humility: knowing one's proper place

Sunday when I decided to flee to the Cleve(land), I listened to Mark Driscoll's thoughts on Humility. He spoke of how while some anxiety is caused by mental disorder, most often it is caused from one trying to be God- namely by trying to imitate his incommunicable attributes of omniscience and sovereignty.

Oh, straight to the heart! How often do I plan my life for myself and try to know every little detail? How often do I try to keep a watchful eye on things to make sure everything goes exactly as I planned or want?

Truly He is God and I am not. This is my plea for humility. Lord, thy rod and thy staff comfort me.

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6

8 Things that I am Thankful for in 2008

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:02:03 GMT

Yes, I realize that it is 3 months into the New Year already, but it's my personality to take some time to think about things. Here's my list (in no particular order):

The Gospel
Daily, I encounter situations in which I need to be rescued- seeing in my life and around me the results of the Fall. Jesus is faithful. He rescues me!

Words
From the words that spoke creation into existence to the encouraging words that lift me up, I am beginning to understand the power of words. "Life and Death are in the power of the tongue" Proverbs 18:21

Community
It is here that I have experienced much of the Gospel and Words. Whether it be family or close friends- or new friends, it is such an amazing way that God created for us to interact. Truly, a glimpse of the perfect community that the Trinity experiences. I love people!

The Bible
It's incredible how off-kilter I can get as I attempt to seek the Lord. Thanks be to God for how he reveals himself through His word.

Culture
Diversity. It's just so beautiful. God has used culture to rough and shape me.

Meeting Jacqueline Kirby
Through this dear friend, I have been able to experience God's grace in such an amazing and unique way. Blew my mind.

Technology
Why am I so appreciative of my iPhone...and the internet...and movies...and Skype...and the built-in camera on my Macbook? Perhaps they give me an outlet to experience community in a deeper way.

Music
I think music has been in my soul since a youngster. Recently, my mama told me how I used to make up songs as a kid. I would suffocate without rhythm! Portishead, LeCrae, Thrice, Andrew Osenga, Jeremy Casella...too many first-time hears to list from 2008.

Got a list, too? Leave a comment.

"No guilt in life; No fear in Death from life's first cry to final breath"

Dreaming about Forgiveness

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:25:38 GMT

Two days ago I had a dream and it caught my attention in a huge way. It stuck out not just because of the content of the dream but the timing of it.

Last week one of my good friends was recounting a dream of his own, "there must be a meaning behind this dream!" he declared when we were at dinner. That got me thinking, how do we know if a dream has a deeper meaning?

And, then, yesterday I was reading through the first few chapters of Matthew, and it is incredible to see the way God uses dreams to communicate with humans:
-told Joseph to marry Mary and name Jesus, Jesus (1:20)
-told the wise men not to report back to Herod (2:12)
-told Joseph to flee to Egypt (1:13)

Immediately after I read those verses, I was reminded of the dream I had a few days ago. And, what made this dream even more unique was the fact that I was talking with another friend this past week about how there may be some things that I hadn't forgiven my grandfather-- who has already passed away-- about. He suggested I take that before the Lord.

Then bam(!) this dream happens:

---It's present day and I'm on my way to meet my grandfather. I'm not in America. I can just tell because you feel it in the air. If you've ever been to another country (even Canada), I think you can relate to me on this one. I remember feeling peculiar because I was meeting him at some farmer's market on a big hill or cliffside.

As I approached the market, I felt the ground was changing. I looked down and realized I was stepping on fruit- big bushels of apples, pears, peaches in big baskets with a layer of thick plastic made up the ground I was walking on. How strange, I mused, how can I step on these and these not break? I passed more booths as the farmers were closing up shop, and then I saw my grandpa standing at his booth.

He was younger looking than the last time I saw him in person, maybe by 20-ish years. He still had a little bit of a belly, but his smile was still as big as ever. He was so happy to see me. I felt 6 years old and 26 years old all at the same time. He motioned me to follow him behind his table. There was a huge trapeze-sized covered trampoline overlooking a beautiful body of water. We began to jump and play with each other. I could feel the my blood rushing around my body as I my heart began to pump harder. I could feel the cool breeze from the water touch my face. I could smell the sweet air of fresh fruit from the market. I was having the time of my life. I was with my grandpa.

Exhausted from our play, we both fell to the trampoline mat in a heap, a bit more labored in our breathing and smiling all the more. We just laid there for a little while, taking in the moment. It was good to be together after all these years of his passing. My mind went back to all the good times when I would play with my grandfather as a kid to when I would learn about gardening from his annual vegetable garden he would grow in the backyard. In that moment of nostalgia, I looked over to my grandpa- into his beaming face and said, "Grandpa, I forgive you for what you did. I know you didn't mean it." It had felt like something so right to say for that moment, for that occasion. He had asked me to come here, and I wanted him to know that he was forgiven.

As soon as the words had left my mouth, my grandpa smiled, rolled over and just like that he was gone. I smiled, too. And the dream was over.---

I wanted to share this not for a request of dream interpretation nor for a look into my family history, but to perhaps reflect on the peculiar world of dreams.

Was there a dream you've had recently that you knew just had a deeper meaning? I pray it leads you to the Cross. Or perhaps this story could be a reminder that you need to forgive someone in your family. Not sure, but you've got to admit this dream is peculiar. I mean, I'm stepping on fruit and then jumping on a trampoline-- crazy!

Thinking about Natasha...

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:57:12 GMT

Have your worlds ever collided? I'm talking when the books you read intersect with the music you listen to intersect with the conversations you have with friends, and you find they are all point to the same thing: the thing which you are learning.

The Natasha I speak of is Natasha Bedingfield. I've got respect for this woman. And, I think she is the first celebrity that I've ever really prayed for with earnest.

Over the summer, my dear friend, Carrie, let me borrow, "Pocketful of Sunshine" from her. I was dazzled by the beats and arrangements, and then I began to listen deeper to the lyrics. This is when the collisions happened.

Collision 1: What causes someone to walk away from the faith?
On "Soulmate" Natasha sings,

Who doesn't long for someone to hold/
Who knows how to love you without being told/
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own/
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Woah...deep. Natasha is searching, I thought to myself. She needs Jesus! Wikipedia tells me (under "Early Life) that she actually used to write songs for Hillsong London. Had she met Jesus before? Where is she at with the Lord now? Looking on the surface of her life- the rest of the lyrics, causes that she stands for, is there fruit of Jesus' touch in her life?

A topic I've been discussing with friends over the last few months. 2 Peter 1:3-15 does an awesome job of helping to approach this topic.

Collision 2: Women want and need men that are emotionally present!

One thing that really amazes me about Natasha is the way she sings about relationships- so real and honest about her thoughts.

On "Piece of Your Heart" Natasha sings,

When the craziness begins to get to me/
Just need a hand to hold, just be that somebody/
It's your tenderness that's gonna make it right/
I wanna piece of your heart, not a piece of your mind

She's saying she doesn't need so much a man that solves every single emotional problem in her life. Sometimes she just needs someone to be there for her and listen- to be the shoulder she can lean on. A topic that the incredible book, "For Men Only" covers in chapter 2. This, too, is something that I've been talking with friends.

Perhaps I'm looking too deeply into this album. Or, maybe there are real issues that Natasha ponders with that we do as well.

So, Natasha if you ever read this, I pray that you would experience the power of Jesus' love in your life. Would you consider His love for you? He wants so bad to become your perfect soulmate.

Joseph

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:35:23 GMT

I kept walking down the long corridor, pulling back curtain after curtain. I was getting closer. I could feel it right in the center of my body. It was almost like my entire senses were firing off at high alert- but I wasn't smelling, tasting, touching, hearing, or seeing anything. It was like the very core of these was growing-- was screaming!

I kept going not knowing where this corridor would end. I kept pulling back curtain after curtain and though I saw nothing, I was seeing more clearly.

And then, I heard it. Like a whisper but nothing audible.

"Joseph."

I was known by someone. When I heard my name it wasn't a source of fright or fear, but a hope. A hope that I was coming closer. I was deeper in, and I only wanted to keep going.

-from journal entry July 4th, 2008. written after a prayer to behold more of God's beauty

My Sun

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:37:28 GMT

I'm sitting here in the seat on my Turkish Airlines flight- so far the best airline company I have ever flown. It's July 28th and I'm flying from Istanbul from Rome. Currently, the plane is passing over Thessaloniki.

My forehead is resting against the window and I stare at the ground below me, mesmerized by everything that I see. Such beautiful islands. Such beautiful coasts and land masses and mountains that have formed. i notice the beautiful greens and browns. Buildings and tress cannot even be made out because of the height that we're at.

I notice something more in addition to the wonder. There are portions of light and dark on the ground. Some parts of the Island enjoy full sun while some only see dimly. It's partly cloudy. I wonder what it's like for the people under the cloud cover. Is it a bit colder? Those that are reading the paper, are they squinting a bit more because of lack of light? But the cloud won't always be over them, it will pass.

I realize now that the plane is flying above the cloud line. I try to stare into the magnificent glow of the sun. There are no clouds to block the sun. it's always there, never changing. I think about those down there on Thessanolik, while their level of light may change depending on the clouds, the sun has never stopped giving off its light. It has never changed.

Indeed, when I am faced with hardship. When I am under my cloud. I can take comfort that the cloud will pass and that there is no problem with my sun. The sun is always shining.

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;" Psalm 84:11

Why I love life around the Mediterranean

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:54:08 GMT

The second night I was in Turkey, I was invited to a barbecue (mangal) with some Turks a friend of mine knew. Immediately, I had so many questions running through my head- location, price, who will be there, how long will it be- but I've been learning as a good traveler, when a dinner invitation is concerned only three questions really need to asked: what shall we bring? what time do we meet? and where? With questions answered, I was off to experience my first Turkish Mangal, and it was awesome.

Here's how the night pretty much went:
18:30 meet up outside a nearby mosque, go to the grocery store to buy meat and drinks
19:00 walk to the nearby park that overlooks the Marmara Sea and get the grill ready
19:30-22:30 cook some meat, eat the meat while standing around and talking, cook more meat, repeat
22:30 visit the nearest nargile (water pipe bar) to talk about the meaning of life

It seemed that as the night went on, these guys that I just met were quickly becoming good friends. At one point during the night, we went to eat a salad that one of the guys' grandmother made, but realized we didn't bring plates. So, we just passed around a fork and the dish and everybody ate out of it. So sweet!

This is why I love life around the Mediterranean. "Let's get some good food, some good people, eat it up, share a salad bowl, smoke, and talk about spirituality." I seriously couldn't believe how much meat I ate, and that I ate for 4 hours. I wish I spoke Turkish.